Am. (2009)

Am. (2009) by Eric Christopher Jackson

“I am a child of God. I am free to be me.” -ecj

Not everyone will walk on this road to follow Jesus Christ. Some days, it feels like I'm walking alone. Last week was the first time in several years that I asked myself, "Do I really want to stay on this road?" How long can I keep this up?

It's like a tug of war. Constantly, pulling and tugging back and forth. Finally, it's like the Holy Spirit said, "You have to make a choice." If you're going to stay on this road, you have to accept the fact that not everyone's going to walk with you. Some people may leave. Some things have to be left behind.

I didn't want to let go of anyone or anything. I tried to hold on to all of it for a few days only to realize I was exhausted. But what about fitting in? What about being Accepted by others? Then, I understood the pursuit of gaining acceptance of others, I didn't accept myself.

Suddenly, I began to loosen my grip on everything and everyone I was afraid to lose. Once my hands were completely open, I began to feel so much better. 'til now, I have an odd sense of freedom.

Life Lesson? When looking for Acceptance, start with the mirror. Embrace my reflection. Embrace who I am. And as for all of my flaws, strive to get better each day. Don't settle for a mediocre version of myself.

As for God, I love Jesus with all my heart. I am committed to this forever relationship. Even though I don't have all the answers or understand 'everything' ..I owe my Life to Him. I have no regrets about that.

-Eric Christopher Jackson

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